Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
