but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Randomize
