Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
