He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
