I cockslap morals
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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