I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
The struggles of a small town man whore
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Randomize