I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
