just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
