you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
