For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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