everyone is single if you try hard enough
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
