ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
