How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
