I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
