Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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