I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
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because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
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currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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