This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
