my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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