god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
