ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
