garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
This baby is an asshole
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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