why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
