I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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