I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
