He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Help. Why am I so naked?
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