# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
