I hate your face
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
