Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
