My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
