Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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