I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
