She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
