I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
