get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
