38 yer olds are good kisserssss
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
