He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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