is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Four minutes until I can fart!
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Randomize
