Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
