Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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