dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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