Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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