my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
