I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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