So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize