Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
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I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
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You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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