ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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