I think I am morally bankrupt
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
