i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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