Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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