you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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