haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
