College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
