At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
time to smoke my breakfast
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
