I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
zippers are such a cool invention
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
