3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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