god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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