Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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