why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
