Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
