how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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