I heard we made out
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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