Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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