Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
These tits shall not be calmed
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize